DOCTOR'S ORDERS
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die." "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
“He said you're going to die," she replied.
Naked Gambling
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that she strips naked from her neck down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs new clothes!"
Then she hollers..."YES! yes,! I WON! I WON!" Then she begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves..
The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!"
