"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. Firstly, I'd like to thank you for choosingMandarin Airlines. As we taxi out to the runway, please make yourself confortable, and for thoseof you sitting on the right side of the plane ... PLEASE LOOK TO YOUR LEFT"

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An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So, the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside, he stands up and falls flat on his face. So, he decides to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door he stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright, but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep, as soon as his head hits the pillow.

He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. - "So, you've been out drinking again!!" - "What makes you say that?" He asks as he puts on an innocent look. - "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."

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As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly without any reservations, you laid on my naked body... you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me. Finally I went to sleep.

Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last nights events. My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it harder to forget you.

Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you.....

You fucking mosquito!